Happy Halloween!

I hope everyone’s Halloween is going spectacularly! I’m spending my Halloween working on my big college essay about being gay. I decided to go with this topic because I felt it would be the strongest of my essay ideas. At first when I went to my school counselor she told me that I should probably stay away from essays that some schools (BC) may not like so initially I was going to do my essay on my uncle or my trip to Israel my summer going into 11th grade.

Recently, logic found its way into my head. I figured why go to a school that won’t accept me? It took me forever to reach this but being gay is who I am and if I write a powerful essay on it to colleges and they don’t want to admit me based on the content, then I probably wouldn’t like their college anyway.

So the essay topic is “being gay” I feel it is the most powerful topic I can write about and even though technically colleges can’t deny based on my sexual preference, I have heard that they can just say that others were more competitive. Anyway thats what I am up to, no Halloween plans for me, however I’d love for you guys to comment on your halloween! Even submit a pic if you’d like and I’ll put it up! Thanks for reading guys!

MN Marriage Amendment

This morning I was woken bright and early to be told to go to church with the rest of my family. I was not excited at all, especially since I have essays to write, but I threw on my preppy little blue sweater and proceeded on to church.

I got to church and was instantly bored, (we go to the old people service) I sat in our pew sulking wishing I was anywhere else. Our priest began rather unconventionally beginning to talk about the roots of our church (Episcopal = Gay Friendly!!!). He then brought up the elections of this year and next. Specifically, a gay marriage amendment.

For those of you who don’t know, the MN senate is trying to pass a Constitutional Amendment that defines marriage already stated in MN law the only reason this is being made is that anti-gay lawmakers want to make it very hard to legalize gay marriage in Minnesota. In my opinion, I think people are making this because they feel that times are changing so they want to make it very hard change. It is a amendment based off of ignorance, homophobia, and stubbornness. The bill passed earlier this year and is going to be voted on in the 2012 presidential election. I will be 18 and voting against it and rallying against it as much as possible.

Anyway, at church the priest told us of the amendment and that that our church shouldn’t support such a law and that all glbt are children of god. I loved that he said that, not only did it make me feel accepted, almost the entire congregation should be voting against this awful amendment. It gives me hope!

Enough of the political stuff, I hope everyone’s Halloweekend was spectacular. I dressed up as a 80s workout guy/gay

 

Anxiety

So ever since I’ve been trying to make friends I’ve had a bit of a anxiety disorder, nothing too severe. I just worried a lot and had a pretty pessimistic view on life. In elementary school it did affect me so much that I did need to medicate. I was prescribed Lexapro, a anti-depression, anti-anxiety medication.

While I took it, it worked great! I began branching out and stopped being so nervous.I began to be able to make friends. I (think) I developed a sense of humor and sarcasm. It was fantastic. One thing I didn’t like was the idea that I was reliant on a medication to make myself normal. (Although it is a mental thing I thought of it this way nevertheless)

Eventually I decided to wean myself off the drug, because I had learned precious social skills and that there isn’t always a need to worry. I haven’t taken this medication for years and think I have grown to not need it anymore. My anxiety I think is more normal I stress about things that matter but I don’t let things get to me too much.I never regretted and still don’t regret taking myself off this medication. (I think the lexapro might be still affecting me with a certain side effect).

Anyways, I hope all of you are having a fantastic halloween weekend with all your costumes and such. I’ve heard that gay halloween is very festive and interesting haha. My costume was a lumberjack, Get $leazy!! Happy Halloween! I’ll post more halloween stuff later!

 

No H8 Upd8

First of all, sorry if the title is tacky, I thought it was mildly entertaining. Second, today was stand up against hate for LGBT. Today went very well! We had many people walking the halls sporting their pink/purple. I was impressed and comforted, because although I’m not out to the entire school yet I thought of them as all people who would accept me.

All this No H8 stuff did get me interested in the actual No H8 campaign which I think is great! For those of you don’t know this campaign was started by Adam Bouska and his partner Jeff Parshly in response to the prop 8 amendment in California. The campaign is for the most part is a silent protest through numerous portraits of people in white with duct tape on their mouth silently protesting. Not only is the photography well done, but it gets the point across. Adam Bouska has done very well with these photos. There are pictures of everyday people as well as celebrities that endorse gay rights and such. If you have the time check out this awesome site HERE. Personally I would love to take part in this movement by getting my picture taken which I might do next time No H8 comes to my area!

Here is some more of the great work of Adam Bouska:

First Day in the Pool in Weeks

As you know, I cut my finger in a chainsaw deal and got stitches and wasn’t able to swim for the past two weeks. Today I finally was able to get back in the water. It was sprint day, awesome. Sprints wouldn’t show off how badly I got out of shape. They still did. I didn’t do as bad as I thought I would, our main set was 6×75 all out sprint from the blocks. My coach said “If you aren’t throwing up, your not trying hard enough.” Although I didn’t throw up I ripped my finger skin which needs to re-heal, but I was able to maintain a 42 second average. Not bad. I just need to keep going to get back up and ready for HS season.

In non swimming related news, today was the first day of No H8 week, we were to wear blue for people with disabilities. I was shocked by the amount of people participating. Only one kid in my class is blatantly against this week, mostly because he is very against gays. I’m excited to see him surrounded by people wearing pink and purple tomorrow for LGBT awareness. Hope all of you had a wonderful Wolf Shirt Wednesday and were able to catch the Real World! Also! Check out this awesome post on Outsports.com http://outsports.com/jocktalkblog/2011/10/26/meet-andrew-the-latest-gay-high-school-athlete-who-is-blogging/

 

Getting Antsy

Its been 10 days since I cut open my finger which has effectively prevented me from swimming for 10 days. For me, that is a long time. In 10 days in swimming, swimmers can get VERY out of shape. Yikes. I’ve been trying to do as much dry land lifting to stay in shape but I really want to get back in the pool.

In addition, the high school season is quickly approaching. So I need to get back in the pool so I can bring my A-game. Anyways, sorry this is a short post I’m currently writing my college essay. Remember! WOLF SHIRT WEDNESDAY TOMORROW, not for me however I will be participating in the No H8 week which starts tomorrow. I’ll let you know how that goes!

Academic Interests

So I had a request to do a post on my academic interests, or at least I think I did…Anywho It’s somewhat hard to do this post because I’m not particularly sure of where my interests lie. First of all here’s my school schedule:

AP Calculus AB- not a fan, this whole grading quarter we’ve had one test that counts for my grade, otherwise I find math somewhat interesting like a puzzle. Problem is I don’t like puzzles.

AP Latin 5- I very much don’t like this class, I used to be able to pick up languages very easily, this class isn’t easy.

AP Economics- I like this class, to me Econ makes logical and practical sense.

AP Environmental Science- This is kind of a tree hugger class and I find it hard to spark my interest.

Mass Media- Easy and Pointless, also this class only meets two and a half days out of the week which is nice.

Photo 1- This was supposed to be comparative anatomy I didn’t have room. This class is a breeze, however I wish it was digital and not film.

Overall, with what I want to do in college, I am interested in business, international business, science of some sort, economics, international relations, marketing and entrepreneurship. I haven’t really narrowed it down all to much but I guess I have time. Tell me your thoughts! Any advice? Also feel free to request the topic of a post!

 

I Want a Six-Pack

I don’t think anyone can deny, six-packs are attractive. Ever since I was about 9 I wanted a six pack. I want this

It’s what most people consider, top physical shape. To me a six pack would give off confidence and in my younger years. Although my methods for trying to improve my body are considered healthy, my desire for the perfect self image was not healthy.

Almost every single teen: black, white, girl, guy, gay, straight has probably faced a self image problem. Girls for the most part want to look like Barbies while guys want to look like the models of Abercrombie and Fitch. I was no exception to a self image problem.

All through elementary school and middle school I would gain weight and not get much taller. I was quite overweight, yet with pictures of Abercrombie models everywhere I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I hated having such a fat face, neck, chest. I wanted a six pack to look good and fit in and have a good life, because clearly the Abercrombie models had a great life.

I tried counting calories, and working out but as a 4-7th grader I didn’t have much will power to go through with my intentions. Yet, I still felt like the sub par fat kid. It did awful things to my self esteem. Personally, I’m pretty outgoing but at school I was very shy and quiet and therefore wasn’t very good at making many friends(people still view me as the quiet kid but I’m trying to change that). In 8th grade I began to grow vertically which started to make me look thinner but I still looked leagues away from a Abercrombie model, I had no visible muscle but I was improving.

As I grew older I began to have more will power, I swam more, ate better, my body improved marginally. Still not enough and it still hurt my self esteem thinking I wasn’t good enough, therefore I didn’t improve much in the friend department.

This summer a lot happened. I hung with the right people, in the right places, and somewhat changed how I think. I don’t need to impress everyone and I don’t need to please everyone. This helped me not only come out, but I began working out not to impress others but to impress myself. I wanted a better body for my confidence and health. And with this switch my body changed as well. I began to get leaner and bulked up in the right places like my arms. In turn I felt more confident and it shows.

Although I still don’t have a six pack I’m nearing it. A personal goal of mine is to have a six pack by Xmas. I’ll let you all know how that goes.

I want to adress those who also struggle with their own image. I understand the pressures of having the perfect body. Don’t let them affect you. We are perfect in our own way and we have nothing to be ashamed of. Embrace yourself because you have to live with yourself! If you want to change your image I encourage you to do it for you, not to impress or conform.

Thanks for reading guys! You all are awesome and beautiful!

Ke$ha

There are some people in the world that I just can’t live without. Ke$ha is one of those people. Since she was featured in Right Round by Flo Rida I loved her. Not only are her songs catchy and upbeat, but I like her message. I think that those who think her only message is to get drunk and have sex are short sighted. Ke$ha preaches much more. She celebrates individuality, the intricacies of love, fun, and to not give a fuck about what people think. This kind of stuff isn’t in every pop song on the top 40. What does B.o.B. stand for or Jason Derulo? They don’t get in all that deep in my opinion, I might be wrong but I really think Ke$ha hits home for me.

I even went to a Ke$ha concert this summer with my friend Libby. It was one of my favorite nights of the whole summer. Spank rock opened but they weren’t good. Then LMFAO went on. They rocked my pants, they really get me in a partying mood. And then before Ke$ha came on I went to the bathroom and some almost shirtless guy glitter bombs me which stuck to all of my skin because I wasn’t really wearing much of a shirt either. Then Ke$ha began. It was an emotional experience, she started it off with Sleazy a personal favorite and kept the good songs rolling all night. She closed with “We R Who We R” which really hit home for me, because we all are who we are and we can choose to accept that or deny it. Ke$ha want’s us to embrace who we are because we are amazing people everyone and especially for me some gay swimmer I can try to deny who I am or I can embrace the fact that I was born gay and that can be pretty awesome.

Critics say she wasn’t very good singing live, but then again who can sing well for 2 hours straight? Her performance was great with her style and everything (she even did the cool glowing paint). A night worth 100$. Anyway here are some pics from the concert:)

 

Some personal favorites I think everyone should have:

1. We R Who We R 2. Sleazy 3. Blow 4. The Harold Song 5. Animal 6. Cannibal 7.Fuck Him He’s a DJ 8. Your Love is My Drug 8. Tik Tok 9. Party at a Rich Dude’s House 10. Blah Blah Blah

No H8 Week!

This coming week at my school, some very cool people in GSA made the Wednesday to Friday No H8 week at our school. Although I am not in GSA, I totally respect and admire the individuals that made it! On Wednesday we are wearing blue to show awareness for teens with disabilities, Thursday we are wearing purple/pink for LGBT awareness, and Friday we are wearing black for racism awareness.

I really am happy to see my high school becoming more accepting and aware of diversity in our school! On the facebook event our school of about 2000 already has 400 attendees! I hope that this turns out to be a huge success! I’ll keep you guys updated on the No H8 week!

I really think that the No H8 campaign is really amazing and doing a lot for gay teens. I personally like Adam Bouska’s photos of No H8. They are attractive and send a good message.