Coming Out Pt. 2

So where I left off, it was towards the end of August and I was starting to finally fell comfortable in my own skin. I was ready to come out to my best friend.

It was some day I had been texting Duke that I just felt like it was the right time. I felt Duke would back me and I told myself I would be strong enough to face whatever outcome, coming out to her would send me.

That day Libby decided that we were going to go see a Dessa concert (for those of you who don’t know she’s a really good female rapper that grew up in Minneapolis, MN) on the way to the concert, we were talking about who she at the time was interested in. Eventually she got around to asking me and instead of giving her a false name or the “I’m not interested anyone” answer I told her “Duke.”

First off she already knew of him so I didn’t really have to explain anything so she just got to the “Oh my god Andrew! I’m so happy for you! I’m glad you finally told me.” I felt blessed that she accepted me so readily and so nicely. I’m so glad I chose her to be the first one let in on my secret.

The thing is I felt like I could do more, tell more. So over the next two weeks I decided to tell my friends. Next on my list was my neighbor and great friend, Dexter. I invited him over to my house and we were just chilling while looking at facebook. I showed him Duke’s page and in the mean time I text him saying “he’s my boyfriend.” I guess I just didn’t have the best courage to just tell him flat out but he got the text and asked me if it was true. I confirmed and then he followed saying “Awesome! I love gay people!” (Dexter is a very hard core liberal who is just all around a nice person) Once again, another coming out, another success.

Next I told my friend, lets call her Ashley, I pulled her aside one night after my church youth group and told her that Duke (her classmate) is my boyfriend. Instantly she was very courteous about what I said, telling me she accepted me and she’s happy for me. These experiences were great!

Lastly, one of my best guy friends lets call him John texted me one night when he was slightly intoxicated telling me “how cute” me and my boyfriend were. At first I played dumb asking him what was going on but eventually I just gave up I just flat out told him (I still don’t know how he found out) By that time he had collected his thoughts and apologized for not letting me tell him on my own terms. I told him that it was all good and it made it easy for me because I found it harder to come out to guys and “it’s just one less person I have to tell.”

Overall I’d say I was very lucky, all of my friends embraced who I was and our relationship stayed the same! I feel very blessed that I was greeted with such acceptance, because I know for many people they don’t get accepted and it can hurt a great deal. From my experience  I can say that it does get better and as Duke told me “the people that mind, don’t matter and the people that matter don’t mind.”

Thank you guys for reading so far! Next post is coming out to my parents!

Coming Out Pt. 1

As a gay kid, naturally you aren’t like the other kids. You may act like them, eat like them, and see like them but deep down you know you are different from the other guys. For a majority of gay kids the last thing they want to do is be not accepted. A great way to be accepted is to walk, talk, and act like everybody else.

So that is just what we do to stay hidden, we conform. That’s why initially 99.9% of gay kids start off in the closet. For the most part this “closet” is awesome. In this “closet” everyone treats you like you are everybody else and you live the typical childhood to adolescence just as normally as the other kids.

However I am not like all the other kids, I had a secret deep down that no one would ever know. At first I denied that I liked guys. I told myself it was just a phase like what so many people think being gay is. It wouldn’t go away. I hated it. I wanted to live just like everyone else. I didn’t want to be a second class citizen. I didn’t want to be the butt of all the gay slurs. I didn’t want to disappoint people.

After years, I began to accept that this was no phase. It just wouldn’t happen. At this point I knew I was gay but I still didn’t need anyone to know I was happy like that. No one suspected, I even dated a girl for 6 months. I did this partly to see if I did possibly like girls, but also I thought she was cool but I never liked her more than on a  boyfriend and girlfriend level. I kept at this relationship trying to give myself chances to like this girl a lot but I concluded that that wasn’t going to happen. I felt awful about this but I broke up with her because I knew no results would yield from this relationship. But I finally came to terms that I am gay.

After this relationship, I glided through the rest of junior year with everyone thinking of me as a normal straight kid, nothing more. It was nice, no one knew. The only problem I had was with myself. I hated watching my friends get together with people and get in relationships and I wanted that too. This is especially tricky for closeted people it’s hard to get “out there” if no one know you are “out there.” So where else is there to get “out there” without getting “out there?”

Online. Not a shining moment in my history, but yeah, I went on online chat rooms seeking a relationship but honestly most of them yielded creeps and wierdos. Then I met Duke.

We met and I found that I’m not alone. He made me feel like I am worth something and that being gay isn’t bad it makes you different. Different isn’t bad. Different historically is where greatness is derived. It comforted me I felt I could rely on Duke and my difference and begin to tell people. That brings me to this past August.